


lonely boy: you with the sad eyes

by Significant_What



Series: lonely boy [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Nico di Angelo, Asexuality, College, Communication, Developing Relationship, Dorks in Love, Emotional, Established Relationship, M/M, Representation, Slice of Life, Social Media, Texting, author projecting onto fictional characters, nanowrimo made me do it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27492343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Significant_What/pseuds/Significant_What
Summary: "I speak for you, and for me, and for every sexual minority, because there are still ignorant jerks like that who talk and talk and never listen, and sometimes the only way to make them listen is to verbally attack."
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: lonely boy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009092
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	1. PROLOGUE: the thursday evening

**Author's Note:**

> It's that time of the year again. The one where I emerge from my cave and give y'all a multi chapter story only to disappear for eleven months afterwards.
> 
> This time it's a big one. Maybe not for you, but its a big one for me. It's a _lonely boy_ sequel that I know at least some of you have been wanting pretty much since the original story ended. And to all of you I have this to say: there's more. Yes, there will be a third part to this story, as well. i don't know when that will be out, but it already has close to 8k words written, so it's happening.
> 
> And if you're here and don't know what the hell a lonely boy is: no, it's not a Gossip Girl reference, although kudos for you for thinking that. I highly suggest reading my earlier story _lonely boy: embrace for impact_ before this one, because otherwise not much will make sense.
> 
> This story will have three actual chapters plus a prologue and an epilogue. I will be posting the chapters as I finish writing them, but as of now I have most of chapter 1 written as well as a good chunk of chapter 2. It's NaNoWriMo season, so this should all be done with by, let's say, mid-December. But don't take my word for it!
> 
> A very special thanks goes to Jasmine for beta reading and also for being an amazing inspiration and all around wonderful human being, I love you lots. Also I think **PJO_Connoisseur** deserves a thanks, too, for being an amazing writer and also a huge inspiration, you should all go check out their story _The Many Maybes of Nico di Angelo_ for simply wonderful asexual content, there's never enough of that! That story is a part of the reason I originally started writing down notes that eventually became the sequel(s) for _lonely boy_.
> 
> Anyway. Here it is. I hope you like it.

Will’s phone rings as soon as he steps out of the lecture hall. He knows to expect this, so he already has the phone in his hand and it takes him all of five seconds to press ”answer” and chirp out a quick ”give me thirty seconds to get out of the building and I’m all yours”. He holds the phone to his ear to avoid any unwanted chit chat from his peers and pretends to respond even though he has no idea what Nico is saying at his end, and by the time he’s out in the quad Will is more or less certain that he has agreed to give up his entire collection of band t-shirts for Nico to do as he pleases.

”Hi there”, Will breathes and finally slows his walk down to a more reasonable pace when the crowd thins out. ”I’m sorry, professor Tinsley kept going on and on about things that have nothing to do with the class and we literally just got out.”

”It’s alright.” Nico’s voice is partially blocked out by crinkling paper. ”Just know that you just promised to take care of food as well as dessert for the entire weekend.”

Will laughs a little and waves a small hello to a group of his friend while walking to the opposite direction from them. He doesn’t even know where he’s going, just that he’s on the phone with Nico and everything else can wait for a while. ”That sounds reasonable. Do you have any requests?”

”Not really. Just, maybe not anything Mexican. I’m having tacos as we speak.”

That explains it. Take away wrappers. ”Noted.” Will adjust the book bag on his shoulder and can’t help but smile a little. ”So, are you all packed for tomorrow? Do you know what time you’ll be getting here?”

”Almost done”, Nico says, apparently mouth full of food. There’s a pause and a sound of Nico having a sip of his drink, then his voice gets a little more clear. ”My jeans are washing as we speak, otherwise I think I have more or less everything. And what I don’t have packed is either unimportant or replaceable. I’m planning on hitting the road straight after my modern literature class at noon, I’ve bought snacks to eat while I’m driving, so I should be arriving around the time your last class ends. How does that sound?”

”Sounds like a very good plan to me. The sooner you get here the longer we have before you have to go again.”

”That is assuming another one of your professors doesn’t try to keep you there all night. Why do I feel like this isn’t the first time that’s happened this semester?”

Will sighs and takes a seat on an empty bench that is far enough away from any other person that the phone call won’t be disturbed. ”It’s not, but it’s always the same class. Professor Tinsley just really likes the sound of his own voice, and he’s half deaf so any objections on the change of subject fall onto – well deaf ears. Or, ear. Whatever.”

”Ouch. Fun.” Will listens as Nico takes another bite of his taco and imagines the scene. He loves the fact that he knows Nico so well that hardly anything is actually left for imagination. ”So, any plans for today? Someone having a hot party that you’re invited to?”

”Sadly, no. And even if there was a party I wouldn’t be going.” Will fishes his water bottle from his bag and takes a sip before continuing. ”You see, I have a paper due this weekend that I really need to finish tonight, because I happen to have a guest coming over tomorrow.”

”Mm, I see, I see, special weekend plans means school work instead of getting drunk”, Nico says, and Will can practically see him nodding his head and smirking. ”So, who’s the lucky guy? No, don’t tell me, it’s professor Tinsley, isn’t it?”

Will almost chokes on his water. ”Oh no. You got me. Yes, we’ve been having an affair all semester. That’s the real reason I’m late getting out of class today, I just couldn’t get enough of him.”

”Okay, I know that I started this and that we’re just joking, but I just googled professor Tinsley and imagined you making out with a grandpa wearing tweed and a hearing aid, and it’s not a pretty picture. Let’s move on.”

”Let’s.”

”He hasn’t aged well, but he did look pretty okay in his own college years. Did you know he had a swim team scholarship?”

”Nico – ”

”Doesn’t look half bad in a swim suit when the picture is black and white and grainy.”

”Oh my god, stop.” Will puts the water bottle away and covers his eyes with his hand, as if that would help his situation. ”I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get this mental image out of my head. I hate you.”

Nico’s soft laughter makes Will’s skin tingle through the phone line. He can’t wait to hear it in person again; it’s a million times better that way. ”I love you, too. And I’ll even prove it to you by closing the browser window and deleting that part of my internet search history, just in case you need to borrow my laptop during the weekend.”

”Mm, my hero.” A loud group of people walks past Will then, so he pointedly looks at his shoes and waits until the noise is out of the way again. ”I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Four weeks is an entirely too long time to not see you.”

”I miss you.” Nico’s voice isn’t loud to begin with, but it gets even softer when he gets emotional like this. Will presses the phone tighter to his ear, pretending that it makes him closer to Nico in general. It only helps a little. ”This makes me sound like a lousy college student, but I can’t wait for winter break when we’ll have two entire weeks together.”

Will holds back a sigh. Less than a day. He’ll see Nico in less than a day. ”Well, this makes me sound like lousy college student again, but I can’t wait, either. But also, we should talk about that when you’re here, because as much as I love my dad and your grandma and everyone else we’ll see over the holidays, I also want to have you to myself for longer than a few hours a day when we can steal the time.”

”Perfect, we’ll do that. Maybe we can take off somewhere for New Year’s. Just the two of us. Make it a whole thing.”

”I love it when you get romantic.”

”If talking about a small trip is all that it takes, I really should take you on trips more often.”

”I wouldn’t say no.”

”Duly noted.”

For a while, Will just sits there with the phone against his ear, ankles crossed and picking at lint on his pant leg. Neither of them say anything. Will watches people pass by and listens as Nico presumably tosses out the food wrappers and finishes his drink. It’s probably lemon cola. Nico likes lemon cola. Will should make sure there’s some in the fridge before he goes to class tomorrow. And he needs to buy Pop Tarts, even though there’s a good chance Nico will already be bringing some with him. Nico knows Will is bad at remembering those.

Or maybe they could go grocery shopping together. That would be nice. Will hates grocery shopping when he does it on his own, for his food alone, but going with Nico makes it fun. Plus, there’s that awfully nice feeling of planning, together, what they will cook, together, when they get home, together. Will can’t really pinpoint what it is, but it’s a really nice, really warm feeling. The word _domesticity_ comes to mind, but that kind of makes Will want to barf so he’s not going to be using that.

”Hey, listen”, Nico says after a while. Will hums in response, but there is a chance it’s drowned out by a small group of people jogging past with a Bluetooth speaker blasting the soundtrack from The Greatest Showman. ”I’m going to have to cut this short, which is a bummer, but I’ll text you tonight, and tomorrow morning, and before I start the drive. Okay?”

”Okay. I need to hit the library anyway before those jerks steal my table again”, Will says while getting to his feet and grabbing the bag again.

”Give them hell from me.”

”Will do.” Will turns to the direction of the library and spots Travis heading that way, too. He picks up his pace. ”I’ll talk to you later, then.”

”I love you.”

”Love you.” Will disconnects the call and reaches Travis just by the stairs that lead up to the building. ”Hey, are you going to work on that criminal autopsy paper?”

Travis holds the door open for him and gives him a slightly weirded out look. ”That’s not due until noon on Sunday, right? What’s the rush?” Before Will can answer, Travis shakes his head and answers his own question. ”Right, what am I talking about, you’re Will Solace. Far be it from you to submit a paper later than three days in advance.”

Will huffs and pushes some of his hair out of his face. He needs to get a hair cut soon. Or buy hair ties, that’s much cheaper. ”You make me sound like a bore. I’ll have you know that I would be leaving it until Saturday night just like everybody else if I didn’t have more important plans for the weekend already.”

Travis takes off his scarf and raises his eyebrows at Will while they walk toward their usual table by the windows on the third floor. ”More important than writing a paper?” he asks mockingly, lowering his voice when they get to the reading room. ”Oh my, does Mr. Solace have a hot date he has neglected to mention before?”

”Yes, Travis, I have a hot date”, Will says while rolling his eyes. ”His name is Nico and I have mentioned him to you several times this semester alone. He’s coming over for the weekend, and I don’t want to have to spend the entire time writing a paper.”

”Sounds fair enough.” Their usual table is free, which Will considers a true miracle, given that he was kept in class so late. They take their seats on opposite sides of the table, like they always do, and start pulling out laptops and books and water bottles. ”But that sounds nice, that he’s coming over. When did you see him last?”

Will takes a moment to answer, focusing instead on fishing his pen from the bottom of his bag. ”A month ago. But we FaceTime a few times a week, and text and call all the time, so it’s not all bad.”

It’s not all good, either. It’s something Will hadn’t been anticipating when moving off to college: how much he would miss just seeing Nico, being in the same room as him, knowing that he can reach just a little bit further and he could twine their fingers together. Small things, maybe insignificant, but to Will that’s been the most difficult change. It’s been especially hard this semester, after a long summer of having Nico constantly at his side again. They’re both so busy now, and Will can in no way be bitter about it when they’re both studying something they love. But it is hard, even if it’s not all bad.

What makes it worse is when they go for too long without seeing each other or FaceTiming, and they both start reading too much into words. They start hearing things that are not there, stressing words that don’t matter, accusing undertones that the other hasn’t intended for. Communication becomes hard when you can’t read facial expressions or body language, even when you know someone as well as Nico and Will know each other. And it’s not even that they fight, just that sometimes there is enough miscommunication to cause a two day silent treatment, and by the end of it neither of them even knows what it was all about. It’s mostly just exhausting, just another layer of stress on top of everything else.

But they have become better at it. Scheduled phone calls every day after classes, constant texting and Snapchatting and voice messaging, a video call date every Saturday that they spend apart. And one of them driving the three hours to see each other whenever they can. It’s a work in progress, but it’s also temporary. Will has faith in them to make it through to the other side, stronger than before.

”I can’t even imagine dating someone while living in an entirely different state”, Travis says while flipping through his notebook. Will is amused to notice that he is indeed working on the criminal autopsy paper. ”Good thing Katie and I are both lame and won’t be doing any semesters abroad. It would probably either kill me, or break us up.”

”Oh, you don’t know that”, Will smiles and shakes his head. ”I know you haven’t been together for that long yet, but anyone with eyes can see you’re both invested already. Not saying you should go if you don’t want to, just that I believe you could go and still come back a winner.”

Travis’ shoulders shake with a small silent laughter. ”Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” He falls silent, and Will opens the document on his laptop to skim through his notes for the paper. He already has most of the things in there that he wants, he just needs to organize it and turn it into full sentences, and that’s the difficult and exhausting part of writing a paper. ”How long have you and Nico been together, anyway?”

”Three years this past fall.” Will isn’t against chatting in general while doing school work, but he has _This Is Me_ stuck in his head thanks to the joggers earlier and it’s already testing his ability to focus. However, he likes Travis, so it’s not like he can just stop talking to him, so he gives a little more. ”We went to high school together. The whole cliché, I guess.”

”Oh, yes. You met in high school, he got you pregnant, you had to drop out and he got a job at the local hardware store. Three years later you’re still working on the high school diploma and he falls asleep on the couch in his underwear watching football. That whole cliché?”

Will can’t help but snort. ”Yes, that one.” He wonders for a moment if he should add anything else, but when he lifts his gaze from his own books and notes he sees that Travis is already deep into his myriad of notes, and decides to assume the topic to be closed.

Will likes the library. Not just because there’s good WiFi or because the coffee cart is parked just outside the main doors, or because research is so easy when you’re already surrounded by so much information. Those are all reasons he likes it there, but it’s also the fact that it’s never completely quiet. Someone’s always coughing or turning a page or sighing or stomping or asking for help, or the chairs creak or the vents get loud, or maybe someone has unfortunately forgotten to turn their phone silent. There’s always something, and Will likes that, because it gets a little too quiet in his apartment sometimes and that makes his mind wander to places he doesn’t want them to go.

The campus library is very nice. It’s an old stone building, so it’s always a little chilly, but Will is almost always running a little warm so that doesn’t bother him. The chairs are comfortable enough that you can really stay there all day studying, but not so comfortable that you want to just sit back and relax with a good book instead of doing school work. Will and Travis’ usual table sits by the big windows that give a great view of the quad, where everything seems beautiful no matter the season. When Will was there just two days ago, he saw people hanging up winter lights on the trees surrounding the quad, making everything look softer and warmer when the sun sets.

It may sound silly, but Will really loves his school and the campus. He feels very much at home here. That’s something he was a little bit worried about when he was first moving into the dorms over a year ago, but his worries turned out to be for nothing. Not everyone is friendly, and not everything is easy, but Will didn’t expect that. He has learned his way around, carved his own place in the lecture halls and common areas. He misses breakfast at least once a week and goes to class in his pajamas when he can get away with it, has a tab on the coffee cart closest to the library, and touches the statue in the middle of the quad when he has an exam just like everyone else. Will feels like he _belongs_ in the campus, and he’s already almost dreading the day he has to leave.

They work in a comfortable silence for a good hour and forty-five minutes, occasionally asking for a fact check or a spelling thing or borrowing each other’s notes. Will is getting his work done exceptionally fast, and he doesn’t want to wonder if that means his writing is less than great or that he’s just highly motivated to get the work done today. He gets all the text down by the time Travis sighs and looks about ready to give up.

”I think I might do the editing later tonight at home, get some fresh air before that”, Will tells him and closes his notebook. ”How much do you still have left?”

Travis sighs. ”Too much for today, less than I would have if it weren’t for you pushing me.”

”Always a pleasure.”

”Thanks.” Travis closes his laptop with a little more force than Will would be comfortable with, and shoves it into his appropriately padded backpack. ”Are you busy or do you want to go get dinner with me and Katie?”

Will checks the time and starts packing his things away, too. ”I’d love to, but I was going to do some laundry today. And I have leftover Thai from last night, so it’s all good in that front, too.” Travis nods and gets up with his bag, holding a stack of books in his arms, ready to check them out. ”Tell Katie I said hi, though. We could arrange something for the weekend if you’re up for it? Maybe Saturday?”

”Oh, a double date? Katie’s going to love that, finally getting to meet your mystery man!”

”Nico is _so_ not a mystery man. He was literally never a mystery, ever.” Will wonders if there’s a number of times that he’s allowed to roll his eyes at one person in a day, and whether he’s already fit the quota.

”Uh-huh. Sure. I’ll text you later.” With a wave, Travis heads towards the stairs and soon disappears among many other students that have decided that it’s time to relocate for the evening.

”Bye.”

Will packs the rest of his things and gets ready to leave the library, but not before returning a few of the books he had borrowed for his research on the paper, and then checking out the ”new arrivals” section of the novels. He’s waiting on a new part of a series he started reading in the summer, and he knows the new part has been published, but apparently it either takes a little longer for it to arrive to the library or someone else has already checked it out. Either way, he decides his safest bet is to go home and place an order on it on the library’s website. It’s not like he would be reading it this weekend, anyway.

The walk from the library to Will’s apartment isn’t long, but it’s still the worst thing about living off campus. Will would have been okay living in the dorms for another year, but those are reserved for freshmen and exchange students. But Will’s dad knows the guy that owns Will’s building, so he got a pretty good apartment with a great location, and he doesn’t have to have three jobs to pay for rent and electricity. Basically what that means is that Will has the best apartment out of any of his college friends that he has visited so far, he has a separate bedroom from the main living area, and he pays for it the same that Travis pays for his off campus studio apartment half an hour bus ride away while all Will has to do is cross the road and walk through one park and he’ll be on the quad.

He’s not one to brag, but if he were, his living situation would be what he’d brag about.

A quick pit stop at the corner store is needed to make sure there’s milk for Will’s morning coffee, but that means he sees the Pop Tarts and decides to get them so he won’t forget, and then he turns back to get the lemon cola too because why not, and suddenly he’s got his hands full when he steps out of the store. Will can feel his phone in his pocket, buzzing with incoming messages as he crosses the street and walks the last two blocks up to his apartment building, and he can’t do anything but wait.

Thankfully Will’s neighbor is just getting out when he reaches the front door, so he doesn’t have to try reaching for his keys until he’s at his apartment door, and at that point it’s just as well to put something on the floor temporarily. Will sets the paper bag by the wall just beside his door, opens the door as swiftly as he can, and gets himself and his things inside just as he hears another door open somewhere down the hall. He closes the door quickly behind himself to avoid getting stuck in small talk.

Finally able to take his shoes away, Will puts his groceries down in the kitchenette and then throws himself over his couch, sighing dramatically as if he’s gotten through the longest day in existence. He takes his phone out of his pocket and can’t help but smile when he sees who the messages are from.

**_from: nico [19:48]_ ** _so guess who just got word that some idiot deleted almost half of the ready edited articles for next week’s issue_

**_from: nico [19:48]_ ** _good thing i have backups_

**_from: nico [19:53]_ ** _except that the backups are not edited fuck_

Will hates that his mind immediately jumps to the conclusion that Nico is going to cancel on their weekend. Nico has never cancelled, and Will has no reason to believe he would this time, either. Everything has just been going his way this week, so maybe it’s his subconsciousness trying to pull him back from the clouds or something. He shakes himself to refocus his thoughts, then turns on his back on the couch to reply to Nico’s messages.

**_to: nico_ ** _[20:07] shit_

**_to: nico_ ** _[20:07] will you have it all done in time?_

Not expecting Nico to be able to answer anytime soon, Will starts going through his social media notifications. He knows he should get up and put away the groceries properly, do the laundry he said he would do, then edit the paper so he won’t have to focus on it when ( _if_ , his mind supplies, and Will wants to kick it) Nico’s there this weekend, but he’s really comfortable where he is. The laundry can probably wait until the morning, it’s not that urgent, and he didn’t buy any meat or dairy or anything else that would go bad sitting on the counter for a while.

Will opens Instagram and likes the two pictures Nico has posted since the morning – an artsy one of what Will recognizes as Nico’s scarf thrown over the back of a chair without a caption, and a more recent one of a full pot of coffee and the corner of his laptop. _it’s gonna be a long night_ , posted less than fifteen minutes ago. Will leaves a comment (just a simple purple heart because he’s a sap) just as his phone buzzes with another incoming message from Nico.

**_from: nico [20:10]_ ** _we better have or i might scream_

**_from: nico [20:11]_ ** _me and rachel both took some of the articles from zoë so she doesn’t drown in them_

**_to: nico [20:11]_ ** _good good_

**_from: nico [20:12]_ ** _still means i might have to work on it for a bit during the weekend tho_

**_to: nico [20:12]_ ** _that’s okay, desperate times and all that_

**_to: nico [20:12]_ ** _you can work and i’ll make you dinner_

**_to: nico [20:12]_ ** _be a good house wife_

**_from: nico [20:13]_ ** _but we had plans_

**_to: nico [20:13]_ ** _i know, but work is important_

**_from: nico [20:15]_ ** _you’re important_

Will is a selfish person. _So_ selfish. Because all he wants right now is to be where Nico is, just to hear Nico say those words to him face to face. It’s not about a lack of affection – they’re both plenty affectionate, enough so to annoy their friends when they get together with them sometimes. It’s that it has been three weeks, six days, and fifteen hours since the last time Will was in the same room as Nico, and that’s simply way too long.

People assume that Will is the more verbally affectionate one in their relationship. That he’s the one showering Nico with pet names and adorations and constantly telling him how much he means to him in countless different ways. They’re not wrong, Will does all that, but Nico is… something else. Nico has a way of saying two words and causing Will’s chest to explode with all the things he feels towards Nico in the best way possible. Nico insists on telling Will he loves him first thing every morning and last before going to bed at night, even if it’s just through a quick text. And it’s Nico – always, _always_ Nico – that can turn Will’s own words around and give them weight, just like he does now, and Will isn’t even sure Nico is aware how much it’s affecting Will’s pulse.

**_to: nico [20:16]_ ** _and i will be right here. promise. you just do what you have to do, and we’ll figure out the rest_

Will watches the sent symbol turn into the read one, and five seconds later his phone flashes with an incoming call from Nico.

”Hi – ”

”I’m still coming tomorrow.” Nico’s voice sounds a little tighter than normal. Will isn’t sure what emotions are behind that, but it’s probably several, and stress has got to be one of them, given the situation. ”That’s non-negotiable. I’ll be there. Unless you have something that’s come up, which is totally fair, but – ”

”Nico, breathe.” Will can hear so many noises in the background of the call that the deep breath that Nico is assumingly taking gets lost in them, but Will knows what it sounds like, anyway. And what it looks like. And what it feels like, Nico’s chest expanding under his palm. ”Everything is fine. You work on the articles tonight, and get a good night’s rest, then skip your class in the morning if you have to. And then you get in your car, and you drive here, where I’ll be waiting, and we’ll cuddle and relax and talk about everything but school or work for the rest of the day, and on Saturday you can finish the articles you still have left while I read. Okay?”

During the short pause that follows, Will can hear yells and people rushing and a copier and – is that glass breaking? Nico has called Will from the editor’s office so many times that Will thought he'd heard it all but tonight it’s pure chaos. Will can only imagine how panicked everyone is. He closes his eyes and sees Nico running his fingers through his hair, making it an even bigger mess than it probably already is, pinching the bridge of his nose, picking his thumb nail. Will tries to remember if he has band aids in the cupboard, just in case Nico manages to make himself bleed from stressing to much.

”Okay”, Nico mutters into the phone, then breathes out. ”Yeah, okay. I can do that. Sounds like a good plan.” Will smiles again. ”I’m sorry I freaked out.”

”That’s okay. I didn’t mean to make you freak out.”

”You didn’t, I’m just super stressed about the paper.” Will can tell. He can count on one hand the times he’s heard Nico this on edge about anything. ”Listen, I’ve got to go. And I know this is the second time today that I’m cutting our call short, but – ”

”No, I understand, I _totally_ understand”, Will rushes to say, just to make sure Nico knows this. ”Of course you have to go, I get it. I just worry. Promise me you’ll eat and sleep? And drink enough water?”

Nico’s laughter sounds tired already, but it’s genuine. ”Someone brought bagels, so I’m going to grab one of those and get to work.”

”And fill your water bottle.”

”Yes, sir.” Someone yells something at Nico, but Will can’t make out what they want. Nico answers with some form of _I’ll be right there_ before speaking to Will again. ”They need me for something. I’ll text you later.”

”Good luck, I love you!”

After the call drops, Will tosses the phone on the coffee table and sighs. He’s well aware that this doesn’t really affect him, but somehow he’s still feeling some of the weight that Nico must be feeling on his chest right now. He supposes that’s what happens when you’re in a committed relationship with someone – you start sharing not only the good things, but the bad things too. Will can’t say he’s a fan of the stress and the anxiety, but he can appreciate the sentiment behind it.

A few minutes of pondering and laziness later Will makes himself get up from the couch. He puts away the groceries and even puts a few cans of the lemon cola into the fridge so they’ll be nice and cold when Nico gets there the next day. Then he takes out the leftover Thai food and heats it up, even if he seriously dislikes reheated noodles, and makes a mental note to think of proper dinner options for the weekend. Maybe they should even try something a little fancier on Saturday, make it a real date. Chances are that Nico will be done with his editing by then, but Will still doubts either of them will want to actually leave the apartment that much.

The microwave pings and Will takes his food out, then quickly and carelessly throws it on the counter when the hot plate burns his fingers. He wonders if, given the possibility of there being an infinite amount of universes, whether that means there is also a universe where no college student ever burns their fingers when getting their food out of the microwave. And if so, then there must also be a universe where no college student ever microwaves their food, and that thought alone is so wild that it makes Will snort while taking a glass of water and bringing that and his food to the couch.

Before eating, Will checks his phone again. Nico has liked the comment he left on the Instagram post, and so has someone else behind the username _red_nightmare_. After a quick stalk and scroll-through Will guesses that to be Rachel, Nico’s friend he’s heard a lot about since the summer. Will hovers his thumb over the _follow_ button for a while but then backs off the app without pressing it.

Will puts his phone away, turns the TV on, and sighs. He really can’t wait for Nico to be there.


	2. the friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Giving you the spare key was one of the best decisions I have ever made."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we're really getting into the story. 
> 
> I know I said something along these lines last time, too, but I want to stress this: _lonely boy_ is a very special story for me, and a very personal one. I kept saying this during _embrace for impact_ , too, but it still needs to be said that the kind of asexuality represented here is only one of many. Also that sexuality is fluid, and that things can change for you, quickly or slowly or not at all, and **that is okay**. That should be a given fact, but I'm painfully aware that it isn't to everyone, so there.
> 
> I don't mean to be verbally aggressive, but do I use fanfiction as my outlet? Yes, and I regret nothing.
> 
> Also maybe don't expect the next chapter to be out this quickly, y'all got very lucky that I had this ready when I did, probably won't happen again. Big emotional things happening in this story, folks!
> 
> (Again, thank you Jasmine for being you and also for the beta read, you're a star!)

The thought that gets Will out of bed on Friday morning is not only that it’s Friday and he only has three classes before the weekend, it’s also the knowledge that when he gets out of class in the afternoon, he will very likely have someone waiting for him at home, and that hasn’t happened since the summer. He turns off the alarm already sitting up, and sees that he has gotten no less than five messages from Nico since getting into bed last night.

**_from: nico [02:34]_ ** _i’m going to follow your advice and skip class in the morning_

**_from: nico [02:35]_ ** _get some actual sleep so i don’t fall asleep behind the wheel_

**_from: nico [02:35]_ ** _might even be able to get on the road a little sooner than planned this way, so yay_

**_from: nico [02:46]_ ** _going to bed now, i hope you’re sleeping well_

**_from: nico [02:46]_ ** _i love you_

They hadn’t spoken much after the phone call, but just like Will had assumed, it seems like Nico has had a long night. That doesn’t sound all that great, but Will knows that Nico sleeps easily. He’ll probably sleep late, or at least Will hopes so. Will replies to the messages with a quick row of hearts before heading to the bathroom to start his day with a shower.

The thing is, the day isn’t even a bad one on it’s own, either. Will likes all the classes he has on Friday, he has a feeling his professors like him too, and he gets into a very productive debate with one of his course mates that goes on until the professor simply has to make them stop in favor of getting lunch. Will makes quick lunch plans with said course mate, who reintroduces herself as Clarisse, and they continue their debate until Clarisse is almost late for work at the campus book store.

Will only thinks to check his phone when he’s already in his last class, waiting for the professor to arrive. He’s not expecting anything, so Nico’s messages are a very nice surprise.

**_from: nico [11:11]_ ** _wow, look at the time, make a wish_

**_from: nico [11:12]_ ** _now that i think of it, you’re probably in class, so i made two wishes_

**_from: nico [11:12]_ ** _getting in the car now, see you in a few hours!_

The messages have Will smiling all through the class, even though that means that he gets distracted and possibly misses half of it due to daydreaming. But Will has had a perfect attendance record this semester, so he can afford to slack a little.

When the time comes and the last class of the day ends, Will suddenly gets unreasonably nervous. He doesn’t know where it comes from all of a sudden; he hasn’t gotten nervous to see Nico since they were in high school and still very new to all of this. It sort of makes sense, maybe, to be nervous now, given that it’s been so long since they saw each other, but the feeling takes Will aback a little. And it makes him slightly uncomfortable. Where did it come from? Will needs it _gone_ , he doesn’t want it, it’s unwelcome. All he wants is to go home and have a perfectly calm and wonderful weekend with the man he’s so in love with it makes his head dizzy most days, is that so much to ask for?

Will doesn’t rush back. He figures it might be best to walk – well, not slowly, per se, but at a leisurely pace, just to give his brain a little more time to adjust. There is a very good chance that Nico is already in Will’s apartment at the very moment. And Will is so happy about that, he really is. He doesn’t understand what the problem with his mind is. He slows his walk down just a tiny bit more and buys coffee from a cart in the park halfway through his walk home. The coffee is bad and way too hot, but the steam warms Will’s face and the caffeine should help clear his head eventually.

Will supposes that there is a possibility that his mind has already gotten used to only seeing Nico on video chats, only hearing his voice tinted from the speakers of his phone or laptop. And if that’s true, then Will doesn’t want it. Will does not want to get used to only seeing Nico for one weekend every four weeks. that’s not going to happen. It’s not something they have talked about yet, but Will has gotten the feeling that it’s sort of assumed that the situation they’re in is not permanent. Nico will be done with his degree in a little over a year, possibly sooner, and then there’s nothing keeping him in Ohio anymore – and Will doesn’t want to be a jerk, but it really would be mutually beneficial for Nico to then move in with Will. Maybe not in the apartment he has now, maybe they can look for something together, but still.

It’s a nice thought, but now Will thinks maybe he needs to bring this up with Nico sometime soon. This weekend? Maybe not, Nico already has so many things going on. But soon. Maybe Will should look into driving up to Ohio to see Nico in a week or two and bring it up then? Would it make Will seem ridiculous? Arrogant? Presuming? Will just wants to stay close to Nico. That’s all he ever wants, really.

When Will reaches the edge of the park, he’s nowhere closer to figuring out what’s going on in his mind. His heart beats a little calmer, though, but that might change soon when the caffeine finally kicks in, unless the guy with the cart was selling decaf, which, to be honest, should be illegal. But whatever it is that’s going on, Will now has no other choice but to go home. He takes a deep breath and picks up the pace again.

It’s the best part about Will’s day, though, when he finally walks into his apartment, sees a moderately sized camera bag and a duffel bag by the door, and finds Nico asleep on his bed under the granny square blanket that Nico’s grandmother made Will last Christmas. It’s the best sight he’s seen in a month, the best possible way to start his weekend, the best thing to come home to. A lump forms in Will’s throat just at the realization that yes, Nico is finally there, and not on the other side of a phone call or a video chat. Actually here, in Will’s apartment, in his bed.

Will kicks off his shoes just outside the bedroom door and discards his jacket somewhere on the floor – he doesn’t particularly care right now. Nico can’t possibly have gotten there longer than twenty minutes ago, but he’s already buried himself under one of Will’s jerseys and the hoodie Will left on one of the bar stools in the morning. He looks warm and cozy and comfortable, and Will joins him, getting in the bed behind Nico and wrapping an arm around his middle. He pulls Nico closer just to feel him, and notices him stirring a little.

”Hmm, welcome home”, Nico says, his voice sleepy and croaky and perfect, and Will just about weeps, he’s so happy to hear it. Nico’s hand moves and their fingers tangle together loosely, Nico’s warm ones between Will’s chilled ones.

”Giving you the spare key was one of the best decisions I have ever made”, Will mumbles into the back of Nico’s head and soaks in the warmth of another body against him. It’s been so long. He’s missed the way all of Nico’s angles fit with his own – poking in one place and blending smoothly in another, good and familiar.

They lie like that for a long while, not saying more. Will thinks they might both have fallen asleep for a moment. Will isn’t big on naps in general, and he doesn’t mean to sleep now, either, but he can’t help it when he’s just so happy and content and comfortable. Nico’s breathing against him is even and calm, and he’s so very warm and so very _there_ , and Will is so _so_ happy he is. He isn’t sure he could have managed another week not seeing Nico, not being able to hold him like this.

It’s Will’s phone buzzing in his jeans pocket that makes them both startle and possibly wake up. It’s just a message, and Will has everything he needs right here in this bed so he doesn’t bother checking it, but he does take the phone out of his pocket and reach behind himself to set it on the bedside table. While he’s doing that, Nico stretches under the blanket and turns around so that he’s facing Will. There are small bags under his eyes, a reminder of what a crappy night he had, and his hair is a big mess against the pillows, and the corner of the blanket has left an imprint on Nico’s right cheek. He looks sleepy and wonderful and _real_ , and Will has missed him _so much_.

”Hi”, Will whispers and cups Nico’s cheek in his hand. Nico’s skin is warm from sleep. Will strokes his thumb along the cheek bone.

”Hello.” Nico leans into Will’s touch like he always does, and Will knows it’s silly to be so excited about such a thing when they’ve been together for three years, and the four weeks apart was simply out of necessity and had nothing to do with either of them actually wanting to spend time apart. But that little nudge against his hand makes Will’s heart swell in all the good ways, and he can’t help but lean in and give Nico the softest kiss in existence. ”Let’s make sure that we never have to be apart for that long ever again, okay?”

Will kisses Nico again. ”Sounds good to me.” Nico chases his lips when he leans back to speak the words, and soon enough there’s much less talking and a lot more kissing. Will is very okay with that. Kissing Nico is hands down one of his most favorite past times.

It doesn’t seem to matter how long they spend apart, they still come together in a way that is good and familiar. (Although Will is not willing to test this theory by spending more time apart, no.) Will has always thought that him and Nico have a very good rhythm with each other, they blend well together and read each other’s body language better than anyone else. Those are all things that, in Will’s very professional opinion, make their make outs exceptionally enjoyable, truly moments to treasure and look forward to.

When Will had just started to go out with Nico, his friends (or, mainly, Cecil) couldn’t seem to get the idea that just kissing someone can in itself be the main event. Cecil, on numerous occasions, pointed out that Will can’t really know what he’s missing if he doesn’t try it. But Will doesn’t have to ”try it” to know that while doing more than kissing would probably be enjoyable to him, it wouldn’t be so for Nico, and that’s that. Will doesn’t have to think about it any further. Having sex in any shape or form wouldn’t add anything of importance to his and Nico’s relationship, anyway.

Besides, Will would be perfectly happy just kissing Nico for days on end, never stopping. They’re so good together in so may ways, and this comfort between them, the way they can switch from napping to lazy kissing to effectively taking each other’s breath away with little to no effort, is just further proof. Will grins stupidly into the kiss, causing Nico to smile in return, and if the kissing stops there for a while Will doesn’t really care. Nico is right there, and he’s nuzzling Will’s nose and being all cute and soft, and Will wants this forever.

”You taste like coffee”, Nico says and nibs on Will’s lips playfully, almost like he’s following the taste.

Will just can’t stop smiling. ”I’m sad to tell you that it was probably decaf.”

”Since when do you drink decaf?”

”I don’t. That’s why I’m going to kick that guy’s ass the next time I see him.” Nico’s shoulders shake with laughter, and Will pulls him closer just because he can. ”Made it possible for me to nap with you, though, so it’s not all bad.”

”Mm, very true.” Nico shuffles closer still, hikes his leg up over Will’s hip and starts leaving soft little kisses on Will’s jaw and neck. ”I watered your pothos.”

Will practically freezes on spot, confused and a little stranged out. ”My what now?”

Nico laughs again and Will can feel it all over. ”Pothos. The plant.” Right. The plant. The plant that Nico bought to the apartment when he was staying there last summer. ”It was thirsty.”

”Oh.” Will looks over his shoulder towards the bedroom door, even though there is no way he could possibly see the sad little vine hanging by the living room window from there. ”Thanks.” Nico hums against the skin in Will’s neck. It feels nice. ”I didn’t even remember I had it, actually.”

”I figured.” Will wonders if he’s maybe holding Nico a little too much, if maybe he seems a bit silly right now, but since Nico’s hold on him is just as constant and just as secure he doesn’t let go. Nico nuzzles against his skin a little more and leaves a slow kiss to the juncture between Will’s neck and shoulder. ”Let’s hold off on getting you any more plants, then. At least until you manage to keep that one alive for a full year without my help.”

”Now, that’s hardly fair at all”, Will protests, ”considering that you got me that plant in the first place. If anything, _you_ should be the one taking care of it – ”

”I _am_ the one taking care of it!”

” – but I will agree to shared custody”, Will finishes over Nico’s laughter and presses his cheek against Nico’s temple. ”But only because I love you so much.”

That apparently earns Will another kiss to his neck, and yet another to his jaw. ”Shared custody it is, then”, Nico agrees, and Will closes his eyes in the content silence that follows. Nico has pressed the lower half of his face into Will’s skin, and it’s not just a very long kiss that Nico’s pressing there but it feels like one because Will’s skin is tingly everywhere Nico touches. Shouldn’t they be past that point already? Or does four weeks apart also mean that they get a new honeymoon phase, because that Will can get behind (but will not repeat).

The silence stretches again, lulling Will into a peaceful quiet in which he thinks he might very well fall asleep again if he tried even a little. One of Nico’s hands is splayed over his lower back, where he’s drawing small circles into a free sliver of skin at the edge of Will’s t-shirt. Nico’s hair smells fresh, like a new brand of shampoo that Will doesn’t recognize but suits Nico very well, and under that a scent that is very much just Nico, and Will breathes that in like a man drowning. Without even trying to, Will matches his breathing with Nico’s, a steady in and out that sounds to his ears very comforting, and he can feel their chests expanding where they’re pressed against each other.

Will just lies there in the quiet and takes Nico in with all his senses, and this, he thinks, must be the true design of two people in love.

”Are you hungry?” Will asks after a while when he remembers that he himself hasn’t eaten anything since lunch, and it must already be way past five in the afternoon. He doubts Nico is doing any better.

Will expects Nico’s voice to be sleepy again, but it’s just quiet and happy. ”I could eat.” Will is never going to get over the feeling of Nico’s lips moving against his skin when he speaks.

”Did you have anything on the way?”

Nico yawns (his breath is hot and burning on Will’s collar bone), then stretches his hands above his head and Will doesn’t see but he knows he’s pointing his toes. He’s moved down on the bed and his face is now against Will’s sternum, and when he speaks it vibrates through Will’s whole core. ”I did go through McDrive, but I only got a shake and fries.”

Will catches the yawn, too, and then he turns on his back in an attempt to seem like he’s ready to move. ”Well then, you’ll be happy to know that I have everything we need for a quick pasta carbonara.”

”Oh so you _are_ the perfect man.”

”I do try very hard.” Will grins as Nico rolls onto his back, too, and takes his hand in his own. ”I wouldn’t just ask a guy to come over to my house and not have any food to offer him. That would just be rude.”

”Very true, very true. You’re as wise as you are perfect.” Nico throws the blanket off his body but doesn’t yet give any other signs of getting up. ”Hey, you wouldn’t want to watch The Greatest Showman, would you? I’ve had _This Is Me_ stuck in my head since our call yesterday afternoon.”

”You and me both, my love, you and me both.” With one last kiss, Will gets up from the bed and grabs his phone from the bedside table to take with him to the kitchen. ”The DVD is already on the coffee table.”

”Mm, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Will takes a quick detour into the bathroom to relieve himself and put his hair in order, then heads to the kitchen to take out everything he needs for their meal. He puts the pan on the stove to heat it up and only then remembers the message he got earlier. It’s not like there are that many people that Will is expecting to text him on a Friday night, but he’s a bit shocked to see it’s from a guy in his study group that he really would rather not see outside of the weekly meeting in the library.

**_from: octavian [16:53]_ ** _I have the notes for you from our last meeting. I can drop them off at your apartment tonight before seven, but after that they will need to wait until next week._

A groan escapes Will’s throat before he can stop it, and he almost hates himself for being this annoyed about a minor inconvenience. He doesn’t have to see Octavian today if he really doesn’t want to, no one is making him. And Octavian would simply be dropping off some notes because – okay, because Octavian is a little shit that doesn’t add his notes on the shared online document like everyone else in the study group, and Will is just too nice a person because he volunteers to add the notes _every single week_. But he would only drop them off and then be on his merry way, and it would be two minutes, tops, and Will could forget that Octavian even exists for the rest of the weekend.

But – and there is always a but, it seems – they have mid terms coming up. And Will knows that even if he himself wouldn’t be reading the notes before Nico leaves on Monday morning, there are people in the study group that really want to and, to be honest, really _need_ those notes as soon as possible.

**_to: octavian [17:21]_ ** _well if you can drop them off today then that would be good. anytime from now to seven works for me_

Will throws everything in the pan and digs out a pot for the pasta. He can hear Nico shuffling out of the bedroom and into the bathroom while he tries to figure out how much is enough spaghetti for two people. He goes for an amount that he thinks is a little more than what he made last time that was a little too much for one person, then adds them to the water with salt and oil.

**_from: octavian [17:29]_ ** _I will be there in fifteen minutes._

Will drains the pasta and is just mixing the sauce into it when he feels Nico’s arms wrap around him from behind. ”That smells so good. I guess I was a bit more hungry than I originally thought.”

”Yeah, me too. Get some plates for us?” Nico leaves a quick kiss on Will’s shoulder, then goes to the far left cupboard to get two plates and some glasses. Will finishes mixing the pasta and turns to plate it on the other counter. ”So, a guy from my study group is going to drop off some notes in maybe ten minutes, but after that I’m shutting off my phone for the rest of the night, and that’s a promise.”

Nico gives him a small sweet smile. It looks so different in person than it does on a screen. Will has missed that smile. ”That’s very okay.”

Will answers Nico's smile with a grateful one and wonders if he should warn Nico of what kind of a person Octavian is. He’ll see soon enough himself, though. ”There’s lemon cola in the fridge, if you want to grab us two cans. We can even drink it from the glasses and be a little fancy.”

”Should I light some candles too, make it a thing?”

”Well”, Will starts, then deflates a little, ”now that you say that, I’m not actually sure that I have any. I did buy some string lights for the curtains, we can turn those on and turn off the ceiling light. And we’ll have to go shopping tomorrow anyway, might as well add candles to the list, too.”

”Ooh, shopping”, Nico sings out, and Will can’t tell without looking if he’s being sarcastic in his excitement or not.

”Um, yeah.” Will can feel his cheeks get warm, confirming some of his theory on that second honeymoon phase. He shouldn’t get so nervous about this. The butterflies are nice, though. ”I was thinking that maybe you can work on the articles after breakfast, take your time with that and don’t worry about a thing, and in the afternoon we could go to the store to get supplies and then have a little stay-at-home date… thing.”

Nico looks at Will from where he’s turning on the string lights on the curtains. His cheeks are tinted in a light pink and he’s biting his lower lip, so maybe Will isn’t the only one affected. His eyes are very playful, though, and he looks very lovely and it’s all totally unfair. ”You really have the whole weekend planned out, don’t you?”

Will picks up the plates and walks around the couch to set them on the coffee table. ”I did promise.”

”Yes”, Nico says, takes their drinks, turns off the ceiling lights, then joins Will on the couch where Will is already turning on the PlayStation and sound system. ”That you definitely did.”

They have just made themselves comfortable on opposing ends of the couch with their plates of pasta in their laps when the doorbell rings. Will sighs and can only be happy that they hadn’t started the movie yet (even though they both have seen it at least ten times at this point) or started actually eating.

”This will be quick”, Will says and puts his plate on the coffee table again. ”Hopefully. In and out in less than three minutes. Oh, you don’t have to get up”, he adds when Nico follows him to the door.

Nico just shrugs. ”I don’t mind. I just think I’d seem rude if I didn’t even get up to say hi.”

Will barely stifles a snort and lowers his voice just outside the door before opening it. ”Trust me, you would in no way be the rudest person in this situation. You’ll see.”

Nico looks confused but doesn’t have time to form his question before Will takes a deep breath and opens the door to Octavian, who already has his hand raised for what seems like it could have been a very aggressive knock on the door – which, truthfully, would have been totally uncalled for, since it barely took Will a minute after he rang the doorbell to get to the door. No one is on that tight of a schedule.

”Hi, Octavian”, Will says, trying to sound at least a little bit friendly, then sees Octavian’s empty hands. ”Would you like to come in?”

First mistake. Octavian barely even says anything before he walks past Will into the apartment, then stops on his tracks when he sees Nico. Will rolls his eyes behind Octavian’s back and closes the door.

”You have the notes, then?” Will asks. He’s not normally this curt with people, but this is a Nico night, and Octavian is already getting on his nerves in general. This whole thing is not helping his case in any way. ”I can add them into the shared document tomorrow before lunch.”

”I have them here.” Octavian takes his sweet time opening his messenger bag and pulling out a plastic folder. He slips two pieces of paper from there and hands them to Will. (He has an annoyingly neat handwriting. Will doesn’t want to be jealous of that, but he is a bit.) ”Here. I used color coordination to help separate my own thoughts from other group members’ thoughts and from notes from the text books. You’ll see the key at the top here. There is also a half page marked in purple that has useful websites and additional literature listed.”

”Sure, I’ll add those in, too.” Will bites his tongue so he doesn’t point out how much easier linking websites would be for all partiess involved if Octavian just simply wrote them straight into the document like everyone else does. ”Thanks.”

This would be a good time for Octavian to leave, Will thinks. But Octavian doesn’t seem to be in any kind of hurry, despite the time frame he indicated on in his messages earlier. Will can see him take in the whole apartment, the low lighting and the movie and the food, and honestly, Will can see what’s coming from a mile away. He can see the entire scene fold out in front of him, and mentally gears up for battle.

”So”, Octavian says, apparently in a rather chatty mood all of a sudden. ”The boyfriend, then.”

”Yes.” Something in Will’s subconsciousness pulls on his spine and makes him stand a little taller, like he for some reason suddenly has any reason to justify his relationship with his boyfriend even here, in his own apartment. He tries to relax himself, especially seeing as Nico doesn’t seem all that bothered, at least not yet. ”This is Nico.”

Nico leans against the wall by Will’s side and does a little wave with his hand. ”Hi.” Will admires how Nico can be totally friendly and pleasant but still let the other person know they should really be going already. Octavian has been there all of two minutes, but he has already grossly overstayed his welcome.

Octavian hardly even nods into Nico’s general direction before his eyes are on Will again, sharp and evil and calculating and many other things that Will may be imagining are there because he just dislikes Octavian so much. When Octavian opens his mouth to speak Will almost rolls his eyes in advance, that’s how done he is with this conversation already. ”I’m surprised you even answered my text, or opened the door. I would have assumed you’d be all over each other my now, to be honest.”

”And why is that, exactly?” Will shoots back immediately. If Octavian thought he could just say ignorant things like that and get away with it, he has come to the wrong place. ”Because obviously all we want to do is have sex after not seeing each other for a month? Because we're all in heteronormative sex-crazed relationships with heteronormative sex-crazed partners?”

It’s Octavian who actually has the nerve to roll his eyes then. ”Yes, that’s _exactly_ what I meant by that. Dude, just chill – ”

”No, just listen.” Will knows he doesn’t need to be this aggressive about this, but Octavian is the absolute last person that has any right to make stereotypical jokes about Will’s love life. ”I want you to listen to what you just said and hear everything that was not okay about it.”

”Come on, it was a joke. I thought you had a sense of humor? To each their own, I always say, whatever – ”

”No, Octavian, you’re not listening”, Will raises his voice just slightly, enough so that he can effectively cut Octavian off. ”I know you think you are, but you’re not, and you _need_ to listen. There’s a line here, and you have crossed it with me.” Octavian looks pissed, but Will is already on a roll and really doesn’t care. ”There are so many different people in this world, and this may come as a shock to you but people feel things differently, too. And while one thing is okay for one person it might not be okay for another. And that is where respect comes to play. You need to respect people’s choices, feelings, preferences and lifestyles, _regardless_ of whether you like them or feel them yourself or not. You need to respect people, and part of that respect is not making jokes that could hurt other people, or make them uncomfortable. Am I making myself clear?”

Octavian looks like he might have something nasty to say, but Will gives him a look that dares him to peep even a single unkind word. Will can feel his own heart beating really loud in his chest, he’s breathing a little heavier than is normal for him, and his shoulders are so rigid and tense that he’ll probably need to book a time for a physical therapist next week.

Will is also aware that he took one stereotypical joke from Octavian and basically lost all his cool. That’s not particularly like Will, he doesn’t like to get into fights with people just for the heck of it, not even when the subject is something that’s close to his heart. If it were anyone else, Will would probably apologize for going off like that – but then again, if it were anyone else, Will definitely wouldn’t have been so on edge that a single comment would have made him react like that, so there’s no use dwelling on that.

After an icy silence, Octavian clears his throat and shuffles his feet. “So I think I’ll just go then – “

“Yes.” Nico’s voice cuts Octavian off. Will has rarely heard him like this; quiet and calm, but clearly peeved and done with. “Please do.”

The door closes sharply after Octavian, and Will can’t say he regrets his own actions that much. When he turns to look at Nico, though, he can only hope that he didn’t cross a line between them that he didn’t know about. Nico looks stiff, he hasn’t moved from his spot since Will first opened the door for Octavian, and the longer the silence stretches between them, the more things Will can see that he could have done differently.

But here’s the thing: Octavian is the kind of person that learns these things the hard way. He needs to be told multiple times with utmost clarity all the things that are wrong about his wording and attitude, and even then it’s not set in stone that he will change. Nothing that Will said to him was untrue or not justified. What he can admit, however, is that to an outside eye (like Nico, who doesn’t know Octavian and isn’t aware what he’s like as a person) he might have seemed hot-headed, unreasonably angry, and not at all himself.

Will takes a deep breath and walks back to the couch. He’s immeasurably glad to hear Nico following him. ”I’m sorry you had to be subjected to that.”

They sit back on the couch, but don’t turn on the movie yet. Will sits at his end and tries for relaxed and casual look for a moment until he decides against it. He has no reason to hide how he’s feeling from Nico, and whatever disagreement they may have over this, they can talk it out. They can _always_ talk it out.

”You were, too.” Nico reaches for his plate and places it down in his lap but doesn’t take a bite just yet. Will chances a look up to his face, but Nico has his eyes cast down, making his expression harder to read. His voice is small, though, a little spooked maybe, but not angry or upset like Will feared. He manages to relax his shoulders a little bit.

”I didn’t have to ask him to come in, that’s on me.”

Nico shrugs and picks up his fork but doesn’t look up. ”Well, he didn’t have to accept the invitation, so _that’s_ on _him_.”

Will gingerly takes his own plate. “Fair enough.” He doesn’t feel all that hungry anymore, but he starts eating slowly, anyway. He knows the pasta he made is good, but it doesn’t taste like much to him right now. “I’m still sorry. Octavian is a jerk, and I shouldn’t have asked him to come over tonight. It could have waited until Monday.”

“I know you well enough to know that that’s not true”, Nico argues, not unkindly, and Will lets out a small sigh. Nico knows him too well for him to try and talk down the situation. “You did what you had to, and you did it trying to not be a jerk. It’s not your fault when the other guy doesn’t extend the same courtesy.”

They fall silent as they eat, but Will has a feeling that the conversation isn’t over. After a while Will takes the controller and resumes the movie, and the music that washes over them is almost enough to drown out the rising anxiety at the pit of Will’s stomach.

The first song has barely even finished when Nico speaks again, breaking the little tension that has formed between them unnoticed, and Will knows what it’s about before he even hears it. ”You know, you didn’t have to do that.”

Will doesn’t even miss a beat when he picks up the controller and hits pause again. ”Yes, I did.” He sets his fork down on his now more or less empty plate and looks at Nico, who has his eyes once again cast on his plate. “Not just for you, but for everyone who feels like you do about these things. It’s not fair of people to just assume and to not even consider that not everyone thinks like them or likes the same things.”

Nico still has food left on his plate, but he doesn’t look like he’s going to eat it. Will thinks it’s fair; a conversation like this one is bound to take your mind off food for a while. He holds his hand out in offer to take the plate from Nico, who gives it easily enough after a while. Nico spares a quick look at Will, but Will doesn’t stay to wait for proper eye contact, trying to not pressure Nico too much. He knows that Nico sometimes needs his space with these things, that sometimes physical touch and even looking too closely can be too much.

Will gets up from the couch and takes the plates to the kitchen, where he puts the rest of the pasta into a Tupperware container and stores it in the fridge. He sets the pan in the sink to soak, and while it fills with water he turns to look at Nico.

“I want you to know that while the whole speech was partly for your benefit, it technically had nothing to do with you personally.” Will keeps his tone calm and kind. He knows his choice of words can be taken as rude, and he doesn’t want to seem that way. “I was speaking for you, and for me, and for every sexual minority, because there are still ignorant jerks like Octavian who talk and talk and never listen, and sometimes the only way to make them listen is to verbally attack.” Nico is finally looking at him (not into his eyes, but in their general direction, and that’s enough), and there’s something soft and wondering in his gaze that Will would like to explore further. “I don’t actually like the word _attack_ , but that’s basically what I did there, wasn’t it.”

Nico’s mouth twists into an amused half smile. Just that little bit, but it’s enough for Will to let his shoulders to relax a little more. “Mm, pretty much.”

“Right.” Will turns back around to turn the tap off and to splash some dish soap on the pan. “And I’m sorry if you think I went too far – “

“I don’t. I think you went just far enough.”

“Well. Good then. Because enough people are walking this earth letting things slip. Someone has to do _something_.” Will shrugs and takes a rag to clean the counters, just to give his hands something to do. “I’ll do what little I can.”

Will takes care of the counters slowly. Not so slowly that it seems like he doesn’t want to continue the movie at all, but slowly enough to give Nico the space and time he needs to figure out how to word what he wants to say. Because Will is sure Nico wants to say something – there’s no way they can have a conversation about this without Nico having a single thing he wants to say about it. Will spares a quick look over to Nico every once in a while, and every time he does Nico is staring at him with that strange look on his face, and sure, Will can’t be one hundred percent certain, but he thinks it’s a good thing.

It isn’t until Will is washing the rag at the sink that Nico speaks again.

”So, like, do you often stand up against ignorant comments like that?”

Will shrugs and wrings the rag from most of the water. ”When it’s super obvious, or if I feel like I have to.” He knows he’s stalling, now, when he takes his time to place the rag on the edge of the sink in an aesthetically pleasing way, but he does it anyway. “Truthfully, it happens quite a lot. I’m kind of an honorary member of the ace fraction in the campus LGBTQ+ club.”

”Will.” Will finally turns around and is a little surprised to see Nico right in front of him, that fierce look on his face. His eyes are shining, but Will can’t figure out if it’s from unshed tears or just the lighting, before Nico’s arms are around him in a hug so tight it squeezes on Will’s lungs. ”I really love you, you know that, right?”

”I know”, Will says and squeezes Nico just as tight. Nico sniffs against his shoulder and _oh_ , that makes Will’s heart tight. He brings one of his hands to the back of Nico’s head and runs his fingers through the black hair in attempted comfort. ”Hey, I know, love. And I love you _so much_ , and you have taught me so much about the way you feel and the way you see life, and I think it’s only fair that other people see that, too. It’s your right as a person to have your voice heard, even if it’s not specifically _your_ voice, and you are _so_ deserving of all the love and support that’s coming your way.”

The words are meant as calming, but they seem to have the opposite reaction. But Will doesn’t try to make Nico stop his crying. Sometimes a good cry is just what you need, it’s cleansing and calming in its own, and this time Will is quite certain it’s not a sad cry. Given the conversation, he really hopes this is a happy cry, or else he might start to rethink their past interactions a lot.

Nico doesn’t get like this often. He’s not unemotional, far from it, but he doesn’t get weepy and touched like this, he doesn’t cry into Will’s or anyone’s shoulder over things very easily. It’s just not who Nico is as a person, Will has learned, and he doesn’t think of it much. So having Nico literally shaking against him, really truly crying like he only has a few times in the years Will has known him, is a shock but also such a show of trust that it has Will swallowing around a lump in his own throat.

Nico doesn’t make much noise, but Will can hear and feel him gasping for air, and he’s shaking like a leaf and clinging to the back of Will’s shirt like it’s a lifeline. And Will both hates and loves this moment, hates it because he feels so helpless in comforting Nico, and loves it because he knows this ultimately is a good cry, and because Nico letting his walls fall down in front of him is still a wonderful thing, even after three years. It’s quite amazing, really, how Will can feel like he knows Nico inside and out, better than he knows anyone, better than he knows himself, and still, in moments like this especially, he can learn to know Nico in new ways that are all more wonderful than the ones before.

It takes a long while for Nico to calm down. Will doesn’t rush him, just stands there doing what little he can to offer comfort. Only when Nico takes a long deep breath in does Will realize he’s been humming something under his breath, but no matter how hard he tries he can’t figure out what it is.

Nico moves his head so his face is against the skin of Will’s neck, then eases the hold of his arms around Will’s waist into less of a death lock. “I ruined your shirt.”

“You know, I have this magical thing called a washing machine. It’s not ruined.” There’s a huff of breath against Will’s neck that he translates as a laugh, and he drops a kiss to the top of Nico’s head. “Are we good?”

A soft squeeze around Will’s waist, where Nico’s arms still rest. “We’re good. We’re _so good_.” Nico presses a lingering kiss to the underside of Will’s jaw. “You’re a pretty awesome guy to have as a boyfriend.”

Will can feel his cheeks turn red. “You’re not half bad, yourself.”

“Just take the compliment.”

Will laughs, and Nico finally lifts his head up. His face is red and his eyes are puffy, there’s an angry red line on the side of his face where it was pressed against the seam on Will’s shoulder, and he has snot in places that are generally considered unattractive. Will takes Nico’s face between his hands and caresses his thumbs gently under Nico’s eyes, wiping away the wetness there, and he can see Nico’s lips curl into a small, grateful smile.

“Movie?” Will asks, leaning in to press a kiss on Nico’s forehead, thinking that Nico probably doesn’t want a proper kiss right now.

Nico nods. “Yeah. Just.” He bites his lip, then slowly extracts himself from Will and takes a step back. “Let me go wash my face first, yeah?”

While Nico goes to the bathroom, Will finishes cleaning the kitchen and makes a mental note to wash the pan first thing in the morning. He turns off the overhead lights and goes back to the couch, then turns back around to get more lemon cola from the fridge. He sets the sodas down on the coffee table, ready for when their glasses get empty so that they don’t have to get up for refills. He’s just sat back down on the couch when Nico returns and sits next to him, close enough that their shoulders touch but far enough to give each other some space if needed.

(This is one of the things Will loves so much about their relationship. It’s not seen as a bad thing to want your space. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that they talk about things so much, that they’ve been so honest since the day they had their second first kiss. Perhaps that helps, or perhaps they just know each other so well. Could be both. Whatever it is, Will loves it, and he loves Nico.)

“You didn’t have to wait for me”, Nico says when Will once again takes the controller and resumes the movie.

Will leans back on the cushions and spares Nico a soft smile. “Yes, I did.”

Nico returns the smile, then turns his eyes towards the TV.

Will doesn’t even know why The Greatest Showman is the one movie they always return to. It’s not perfect, and it’s not their favorite – Nico’s is Bonnie and Clyde and Will is always going to root for Mamma Mia – and there are things in it that both of them would like to have been done differently. Will wonders if it’s just the songs that make the movie so good, but then he looks at the costumes and the actors and, well, Hugh Jackman, and no, it’s not just the songs. Though the songs are really very good.

For rather obvious reasons, _This Is Me_ always hits Will hard. And he knows it does so for Nico, too. The lyrics themselves are quite self-explanatory, and Will loves loves _loves_ them, but that combined with the beat and the singing and the dance just digs somewhere very deep inside Will’s soul and affects him from within. Will knows that music has a different effect on different people, and that the same thing doesn’t affect him the same way every time, but this part of the musical does something to him every time, and it’s not like he can complain.

Neither Will nor Nico is the kind of person to sing along to the movies they watch, so they mostly sit and sometimes talk quietly over the movie, but every time _This Is Me_ is on they go silent. That’s why Nico’s soft sniffling now is so prominent, why Will hears it so easily. At first he thinks that Nico’s nose is still a bit stuffy from the water works earlier, but then Nico shuffles closer on the couch until he’s more or less on Will’s lap, and rests his head on Will’s shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to, and considering the whole evening Will thinks he should have seen this coming before the song even started.

“You okay?” Will whispers close to Nico’s ear and wraps an arm around him, adjusting himself on the couch so that they’re both more reclined and comfortable. Nico throws both of his legs over Will’s, and Will sets a comforting hand on his thigh. He wishes the granny square blanket weren’t so far away.

Nico nods against Will’s shoulder, and his hair tickles Will’s chin. “I’m very okay.”

Will guesses that’s the whole point.

They watch the rest of the movie like that, but close to the end Will becomes aware of the fact that Nico has fallen asleep on him. His head is lulled against Will’s shoulder, his forehead once again pressed to Will’s neck, and he does that little huffing that he sometimes does when he’s having a restless sleep. Will runs his fingers through Nico’s hair while watching the last scene, then moves slowly to reach for the controller, not wanting to wake Nico up. If there’s one person that has deserved their rest this Friday, it’s Nico.

It’s not the first time that Will carries a sleeping Nico from the couch to the bed, so he knows how to go about it. He knows where to put his hands before even getting up, knows which way to go around the coffee table so he won’t trip, knows how to turn so he won’t hit Nico’s head on the door frame when entering the bedroom. All in all, Will considers this time a huge success, when Nico is still asleep by the time he’s standing next to the bed. He supposes it’s all that practice, and wishes to continue practicing. Nico’s face is always so cute and priceless in the morning when he realizes Will carried him to bed.

Will sets Nico down gently on the bed. He briefly marvels at how Nico has his own side here, even though they don’t live together. But Will also has his own side of the bed in Nico’s apartment, and space in the bathroom closet, and a drawer. Will supposes all those romance novels and rom-coms are right, after all; those little things do make him feel secure in his relationship.

Nico sighs as soon as his head hits the soft pillows, then rolls on his front. Will tries to pull on his shoulder to get him to turn back around, but a sleepy Nico is a real dead weight.

“Come on, love”, Will says, tapping on Nico’s hip with a hand, “jeans off, you’ll thank me in the morning.”

“I don’ wanna move.”

“Nico, come on, work with me here.”

“Ugh.”

Nico may protest, but he does wiggle his hips a little in a way that he probably believes is very helpful, but is more just a little convenient. But the main thing is that Will manages to get the button open and yank the jeans off of Nico, as well as the socks, and Nico is much more cooperative when it comes to burying him under the covers. He ends up with his face planted between the two pillows, his whole body splayed across the bed in a way that leaves very little room for Will.

Will just snorts and makes haste removing his own jeans and picking up an older t-shirt to sleep in. When he climbs to the bed he wrestles Nico into turning on his side, and they end up in a position that seems comfortable for them both; with Will on his back and Nico lying more than half on top of him. Nico is already fast asleep, and Will thinks it’s a rest well deserved, given all the stress Nico has been under in the past over 24 hours.

After turning off his alarm and setting the phone on the nightstand, Will turns off the lights and wraps an arm around Nico. He buries his face into Nico’s hair and tangles their legs together into a big knot of limbs, and his last thought before falling asleep is that he’s very happy.


End file.
